I had occasion to be standing outside a Piggly Wiggly the other day waiting for my wife who was inside buying a get well card for a friend who had just passed away. While waiting I saw a man whose attention I had caught walking my direction. I looked around hoping for an escape. With nothing to do and no- where to run I started trying to make myself spontaneously combust. When that didn’t work I gave in to the frightening fact that I was going to have to converse with another human being.
He approached and said good morning I smiled and nodded. I always thought a nod was a great way to let a stranger know I have nothing to say. This did no good, he started in on the greed and damage that corporate America was doing to the whole world and how soon there won’t be any room to live or move because all of us will be over run by businesses that are all vying for our money. He went on: “ I mean really how much junk food do you need? Why don’t these people see what they’re doing to the land? There are almost no trees left on this entire planet. The green house gasses are destroying the polar ice caps and eating meat is killing all of humanity! Did you know that last year almost a billion tons of waste was dumped into the ocean? We have to get together and stop the corporate onslaught of greed and corruption, governmental control and destruction of life as we know it.”
He actually stopped raving long enough to ask me what I thought. I looked at him and said: “ You’re wearing a pair of Nike shoes, your butt is hung with a pair of Levi’s You have on a Miller high life tee shirt, and a ball cap that has a logo for the Boston Red Socks. Not only that but you’re standing there with a three thousand dollar cup of Starbucks Coffee in your hand. He stared at me and then looked up and down at himself. He shook his head and said “Man you just can’t get through to some people.” As he walked away my wife emerged from her shopping with a basket full of all kinds of crap she found on sale. “Honey look” she said “I found all this stuff for half off. “ I looked into the basket and said, “We don’t eat hardly anything in here.” “I know” she answered “but it was on sale.” “Did you get a card?” I asked. Her face went blank and she said “ooopps I forgot the card.” But wait I have this cake mix and some frosting, I’ll make that and take it over with some sour dough cheese bread from Panera.”